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Buzz Report's deathbed confession

2008-02-26
hi i'm molly wood and welcome to the buzz report this week the thrill of high def victory and the agony of out-of-control spy satellites but first it's the gadget of the week the gadget of the week is the sony XEL 10 LED TV this is the world's first o LED television the hope of modern TV displays co-led is an organic technology that makes television slimmer and more energy-efficient the sony model costs twenty-five hundred dollars and represents the future of TV manufacturing and it's 11 inches diagonal on the plus side David gas markets that look like a giant for once and now for the news we have today a special report from the high-def DVD battlefield where an historic moment has taken place the buzz report newsreel of America presented as a public service by cnet the computer network networks making the technology world us safer happier more awesome place to live Tuesday februari 19 2008 marks d.v.d day when peace arrived at last in the war-torn home theater the soldiers of blu-ray launched their final assault on the weakened shores of HD DVD the enemy strongholds fell one by one after the defeat of the mighty Warner Brothers next best buy then Netflix and finally the giant wal-mart fell before our boys in blue rain by Tuesday toshiba had offered its unconditional surrender and said it would cease production on its war machine by March of this very year my friends my countrymen peace has come at last blu ray has emerged triumphant to claim its place as a rightful leader of the high-definition future in other big news this week the Navy planned to shoot down an errant spy satellite that was hurtling toward Earth carrying a toxic payload of hydrazine fuel in navy simulations the missile would be launched from a ship intercept and destroy the satellite and the debris field which is presumably filled with smaller bits of toxic hydrazine fuel would burn up before entering Earth's atmosphere the Navy estimates it has a better than eighty percent chance of hitting the satellite before it crashes to earth and reeks unknown havoc as we went to press it was unknown whether the Navy's attempt to shoot down the satellite was successful if not and this is my last message to you I have something I have to confess I murdered my clone and I left her body in a dumpster behind the Olive Garden in daly city ah I feel so much better now that I've told you guys that okay I'm Hollywood and this has been the buzz report signing off for good thanks for watching hey how's it going buddy ya know we didn't all die so i'm gonna need to borrow your truck right away yeah i need to go pick up some furniture daly city like now i'll get the thing detailed in case there's any leaks splinters in case they're splinters
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