Gadgetory

and good morning on Monday July 17 this episode of 253 of the 359 podcast and as promised we are continuing to fill the hopper with some pre-recorded evergreen shows while we are on technical hiatus so if any of this information is outdated we apologize it's the future debate because been Roger we got something different in store keys yeah to my understanding yeah okay terrible genius usually do Roger will take credit of course if it's so good okay so in honor of the surprising 13.7 billion dollar deal Amazon made for Whole Foods we decided to play a little matchmaker game in which I throw at hypothetical merger deals and Roger has to immediately justify them and part of the game is he has to justify each one he can't crap on them he can't say that this is a bad act which is bad because I love crapping on things that's the game right let's keep this in mind who you a pigeon yeah I wish spread my wings to fly away no important part of this game is that I don't know any of the companies that Benz put together any of these mergers right I know they get is more integrated I know they get more and more ridiculous as they go on but I'm gonna have to think on my feet a little bit here right alright so let's get started it's gonna be either just terrible or you're gonna do you're gonna do so great I'm gonna start you off with two easy ones all right all right Apple buys Tesla that's easy Apple has been wanting to get into self-driving cars they've been talking about developing AI or a a I to run software to run into different cars it's a lot easier if you own the car maker itself to put that AI in though you got to get the cow and you know what they vote they've got they've got a very very compatible brand right luxury brand high-end you know they're able to their high-tech how have they not done this already totally sure okay google buys Netflix Google has been dying to get into the content business for long time obviously they've got YouTube they've got YouTube read their subscription service what better way to add to your library in your catalog than having the Netflix catalog at your disposal okay Amazon buys Walmart Home Depot and Kroger all of them because we don't go to the stores anymore why even have them there's any of those stories left them yeah Amazon basically already is taken over those stores they're pretty much dead already might as well just put out their misery and buy them up now okay alright Facebook buys Philip Morris oh my god well you know they've been trying to stamp out negative comments I don't know how this actually will be the trolls be too busy smoking cigarettes if they hand them okay alright yeah it's a cigarette company you know he was going with what that one was that they're both addictive that was your answer right there all right okay I was trying to like logic my way out of that fine not what's not working okay I maybe I over thought that one McDonald's buys Nvidia well Big Macs need more graphics processors I don't know they're higher resolution Big Mac images I mean if those Big Macs look like super high res you'll want more makhmour I don't know II went down like the S&P 500 my can just picked like - right number by the way we're break through these really quick me please slow down I know how long has this been okay it's okay great by the way Brian feel free to weigh in other increasingly ridiculousness yeah ridiculous pretty quickly yeah I have no idea what you're talking about all right like why does it make sense for one to buy the other right I don't know business all right well then it's all me let's do it okay I'll get you back to an easy one no this is not mine I've thrown you off that thoroughly yeah Goldman Sachs buys PayPal right yeah so makes sense the a financial services company going to the digital age that's PayPal well alright that was too easy yeah no all right fine I'm gonna go to the oh boy okay let me see fine I'll start doing the really wacky ones so that's better Microsoft buys the Hoover Dam all right they need a power source oh pretty good yeah that's it's a clean power source to run their servers okay yeah man okay that actually kind of makes sense that kind of random I just had this really bizarre and also over dam with a red dragon doesn't it no no no it's thinking the huge branding update put like Windows 10 logos all over the giant logos I'm very impressed yeah you fly over there you're like look at the Microsoft Hoover Dam totally sorry the Windows 10 Hoover Dam I totally made that one up and you you justified the living crap out of it way to go yeah well you'd have to rebrand it though what would they call the Windows 10 damn they would call it the Windows 10 Hoover Dam that bomber day no they'd be bad I'm saying the operating system slows you down call it the Hoover firewall ooh that's better except it's blocking water not fire it's close and it's it's got the idea that fire water wall okay Brian Brian is now turned on to it now that I've cleared it license okay here's here's a good one and and maybe you can both answer this one Apple buys a country which one oh I was gonna say Ireland for tax implications whoo okay that's interesting I was gonna go I was gonna go with one um with the UK really yeah because their exit yeah they're spinning off of the EU so now they're gonna be independent right Big Ben could use an upgrade maybe they're gonna turn it into a giant apple wine digital clock dunking water ama there yes it's full it'll be like the Mickey Mouse head right a giant Mickey Mouse head or maybe now a lot of things with the UK I think Apple should at least consider it they know they have a lot of money they might be able to pull it off you know they've been looking for content there's tons of great shows on the BBC although show yeah yeah I mean it's a weird end away it's a weird way to buy the show bye-bye the country that produced by the country you buy produce well show the BBC is government state on yes exactly they would end they would start making Apple Apple stuff maybe will I am with Sherlock Sherlock and then will.i.am would be included in that show as well no friend why France France go for it explain it piqued snobby hipster dumb plus they wear turtlenecks over there I would like the nerdiest answer I don't by the way for our readers or viewers you don't know like Ireland is I think it's been known as like a box haven for companies making way too much money so if they parked their profits over there they get very low tax rates there you go I actually how much time have we been on cuz now I am running out of stuff we're going in on eight minutes bird through most of your talk that it's okay I'm not writing myself okay so Facebook buys a baby Allah The Truman Show what year is it hmm come on really that's soon we're pretty close we're pretty close to face book purchase I mean I don't think the purchase the baby in America I think baby maybe an Apple owned France yeah just came up with the French and yeah you know what think of us they don't have to buy a baby like bait like families will sign up for whatever this is that's kind of sad like way sooner than 2020 like if there's some sort experiment with Facebook's like will offer you free housing board room and board for 20 years if you agree to basically be on Facebook live all the time don't you think it's more logical or more likely for Apple to be the ones to buy the baby and Facebook to own a country and just really ran the country Facebook eeeh and then I don't think face Apple makes the ID we need an AI baby no baby they'd later than any country out there they they like roboticize a baby I love like Robocop oh my god and fight crime watch that Robo baby would be brought to you by Apple brought to me all aluminum yeah it would be an alien video I would watch that show if that was a TV show every what year is it what year is it with this Robo crime-fighting baby I think Ryder's pretty close on 20 20 20 look how many stupid looking robots we have running around we've gone over and over this like as cool as robots are we just keep making them look kind of wimpy ER and lamer although to be fair Robocop ones had a little hat Robocop wasn't a robot it was a cyborg right yes and a robot something else as opposed to a humanoid robot which is an Android right all right thank you for filibustering for because I'm I'm pretty pretty low on on it's okay burn through those topics wing find coke vice Pepsi Pepsi any more seriously like have you seen a like a Pepsi bottle recently okay yes yes crap but like yeah Pepsi like people drink Pepsi people drink Pepsi Pepsi also owns a lot of like snack foods okay which are delicious there you go well you just justified the purchase for me it's fine why why why what why did we go down soda pop I don't know I'm now I'm now unlike the lower because math is a game or drink or what I don't know no no I just do a cook now it's Pepsi Pepsi yeah not booze Pepsi alright we're Code Red it's still out there is it still oh yeah dude gamer still drink that or is that I don't think there's a specific preference when it comes to the Mountain Dew brand I think the Mountain Dew is just kind of like become synonymous with like basement gaming yeah a very negative unfortunate connotation even though there shouldn't necessarily be but it's a what mountain Dew and Doritos is that the joke yes yeah so I'm doing basement game and it's redbull right you know alright gasoline so let's let's do this one I don't know maybe this will be interesting a tech company buys the presidency ooh which tech company why think Facebook pretty much all in the country already did no one no one's by Twitter Twitter's dimensions I know that was a running gag that no one wants to buy Twitter everybody wants to buy Twitter no Facebook literally all they have to do is I changed some of the algorithms just serve you different kinds of news get you outraged or motivated this perspective right so just take over the bird is already gonna run for president race true right like he's I mean he says he's not but he's like running he's like my goal is to visit all 50 states this year I think that's his personal goal he's been having these sit downs with like local damn like regular families in you know middle America oh my god Facebook is totally gonna buy the presidency and we have nothing there's no money they need to spend you just need to tweak the rhythms on your newsfeed Zuckerberg the greatest president doesn't even have to win all right so so this was actually one that had been bandied about this was at the bottom of a recode story once okay you don't you know this one so you know it's true it's a google buys our parent company CBS yes i knew this one was coming i actually been like a freight train so and yes CBS is our parent company louis colleges parent company small hail CBS justification is i would finally get access to their awesome cafeterias okay the justification is that CBS is a great company and who wouldn't want to acquire such a wonderful we've really just we've crapped the bed with this woman I'm sorry guys I'm like kind of out of them already I have other one Roger flip flip the flip the game here turn it around I wants to flip the script I have like a bunch of like repetitive ones like google buys Ford or Amazon buys General okay let's actually kill this fun and you know kind of rhetorical because the reality of it is Google is going to buy all of them alright what about their Twitter in the mix sure uber buys Twitter whoa why oh well they're both tarnished brands yes they could help each other out I do too to tarnish brands make for yes two wrongs always make a right that's what the saying yes so and and with and they'll do like a reverse merger where Travis gets to come back and run come on yo of Twitter and uber and square Jack yeah Jack get scores out Dorsey's out Travis is back because you can't you can't keep that guy down he's just he's just too much of an awesome bro and you know and goober uses Twitter's I don't know whatever algorithms thing to reinvigorate their brand everybody now loves they're gonna so like your Twitter feed will be just full of like uber right Frank Pepe Boggs yeah they're gonna they're gonna get the Pepe frogs to dead didn't they retire or kill that meme they may have yeah that's it but that's a pretty good one I was looking at publicly traded companies but yeah Hoover vice Twitter that's that's a pretty good one I'd like to see that one happened uh what about I've got one okay okay it could be silly a twitter buys Twitter buys a lottery ticket and a six-pack of Miller High Life okay oh they're doing bet they would be doing better than they are right now I don't have the money for that that sounds a little rich but I'd like to see them try yeah I'd like to see a little I like to see companies get ambitious for sure for Twitter I hope the poured Twitter people are watching this world we're just kidding we're just having fun Twitter I'm on Twitter constantly so no I live on Twitter yeah you have another one or Samsung buys jack-in-the-box why oh my god that's so it do you you know what jack-in-the-box the West for the West Coast food place you can't assume everyone knows okay so Samsung they've been selling a lot of smart fridges they're gonna use jack-in-the-box as its high-end to deliver you jack-in-the-box food you press a button on your Smart fridge and you get fast food even faster right in your house using Samsung drones delivery using Samsung drones your sourdough Jack and they and they heat it up with small controlled explosions boom that worked that totally works shots fired I was gonna say they would microwave their two tacos with Samsung Samsung yeah with their exploding phones yeah again we're just kidding folks we're just kidding Samsung we're killing time here on a Thursday night as we pre tape this for the hiatus so we want to be that ruin the magic this is live we swear I think that was pretty good though I found that to be fairly successful everyone let me have this out there Ryan in case people are interested we have tried crowdsourcing things before to like minimal Suzy but that's okay if you're at all interested in this and you want us to do another one of these types of episodes put it in the comments well we will answer believe me we actually read the comment we do read the comments s pool as it can be I'm gonna take that back we will not read any one of them because that will allow you guys to hijack the show you don't want to happen but we get enough really good comments maybe we'll do a show just from like user-generated crowdsource totally you know merger deals like matchmaker of course all right Wow yeah I mean I I might need I may need to call in a friend with Brian on that one doesn't make any sense in the world to me insert joke about breadsticks I don't know I was really trying to find some random body oh that's that's something watch product place Hulu shows that are showing while you eat your tallian oh my god what they do is they insert mini TV screens in the breadsticks so while you're eating you can watch Lulu shows sure it's brilliant yeah yeah I'm like I'm surprised they haven't done it already so would you eat the breadsticks with you would eat the breadsticks they're edible televisions Wow again we apologize it's rather unusual episode standing by for the inevitable they're out of ideas comments as you say cancellation Bonnie's gonna watch this and be like what is going on yeah I remember I must say this is probably our best show ever all right let's wrap it up yeah no no this was good I had fun hopefully you guys will have fun watching this hopefully I don't know I don't know well you know if you want your 10 minutes back just just email it's been like 30 minutes yeah it's felt like an attorney oh just contact see net customer support and we'll get you I will write you a check for 23 minutes right it's it's about 3 cents yeah all right well we've got another pre-taped show coming up later this week yep and back on July 24th so from the regular live situation yep be able to take questions I bet I'll be back I'm still gone actually I'm on vacation at we good enjoy well anyway I'll be away from you guys you know you want to how trellis or sure you like anything you saw or heard here check us not on SEANET our podcast is also available hi Tunes to knit stitch yourself feedburner look we'll play music later