this is not a test this is an actual
tech quickie episode and for your own
safety I recommend you do not leave your
computer for the next five minutes of
course real emergency alerts are
designed to warn you of things that are
somehow even more important than new
YouTube videos but they've always been
kind of mystifying with their weird
combination of robotic voices and
disconcerting sounds wouldn't it just be
easier for a human announcer to get on
the air and warn us of an impending
pandemic hurricane or Godzilla attack
well no the emergency alert system or
EAS used in the United States is
designed to get messages out as quickly
as possible and this is difficult to do
without automation I mean in certain
kinds of emergencies like an approaching
tornado you might only have a couple of
minutes to prepare so there isn't
necessarily time for a human being to
scoot off to the recording studio do a
few takes apply some auto-tune then sort
out where the message should go by then
you'll probably be a couple miles off
the ground chatting it up with the
Wicked Witch of the West
and speaking of where the message should
go those three extremely harsh sounding
turns you hear at the beginning of a
warning work kind of like those annoying
sounds that you'd hear from a dial-up
modem
they sound like random screeches but
they actually contain critical
information about where the warning
needs to go
they're called same headers and when
they reach a TV or radio station from
whichever government authority issued
the warning special EAS equipment at the
station can decode them and
automatically forward information to
listeners about what the emergency is
which area it's affecting and what time
the warning expires and since same code
specifies specific geographic regions
you won't have to worry about getting
that super important show you're
watching interrupted by an EAS warning
for Los Angeles if you're living in New
York the next thing you'll hear is an a
tension tone which as you can probably
guess is there to annoy you to get your
attention so hopefully you'll look up
from your 3d ass for long enough to
learn there's a serial killer on the
loose so though many have complained
about how harsh the tone sounds I doubt
they're going to be changing that
anytime soon finally comes the voice
that sounds like something out of your
nightmares matter-of-factly delivering
all the gory details of your impending
doom or maybe it's just a minor flood
twenty miles away it can be kind of hard
to understand for some people again
the automated EAS voices were designed
to make message dissemination quicker
even if that comes at a creepy cost with
that in mind the US National Weather
Service has tried to improve the voice
over the years going from something that
sounded suspiciously like old-school
Microsoft Sam a slow-moving storm system
will move across the northern Great
Lakes region today and tonight to a
voice that actually isn't that terrible
anymore zone forecast for central and
southeast Montgomery County for the rest
of the overnight mostly clear well
that's cool and all Linus but TV radio
please
I stream everything why is the EAS
relying on such ancient technology well
there are advantages to using radio to
warn people it's a simpler technology
than the internet and is likely to be
more reliable if a major emergency
knocks out power and internet service
with it you're going to be pretty happy
you've still got that battery-powered
radio in fact you can buy same
compatible radios that pick up special
frequencies that will automatically
broadcast EAS alerts but stay quietly in
the corner otherwise but if you don't
want to do that many cellular carriers
are now broadcasting EAS messages
directly to smart phones anyway so you
won't be left in the dark if you're just
not a TV or radio person and good thing
too because nothing ruins selfie time
with your squad quite like hailstones
the size of grapefruits
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